Acceptance is already a remarkably high state of mind. That means you are able to move away from your disturbing thoughts and see the way things are. Also starting to realise the truth of life. Or In fact learning to see the truth.
Optimism is different to positivity.
Where in positivity you are constantly trying to change negative thoughts to positive which requires a lot of effort and practice.
In optimism, you see the reality the way it is and accept it and move on and, see what is there next? Opening of seeing the next truth or happening. It is an opening of the mind to the new! ability to move on!
Yes, accepting is seeing the truth and optimism is moving on to see the next truth, this process continues.
Optimism is new seeing! Being open to life!
In this process there is no thinking! You are free from thinking.
Thinking is good or bad, right, or wrong etc thinking is belief, learnt knowledge, old ideas etc taught to us and not- verified truth by us. We just carry these ideas and judgements every day.
All there is, is truth! Happening right in front of us, see it, observe it, live it and move on to see more New life.
Let us review the process of your day and its effects on Meditation.
If you are coming home from work and meditating to unload daily, it is a brilliant way. As you are getting rid of unwanted mental waste so you can see things new. But if you are just doing this process each time and just unloading, you will not progress as this is just clearing your mind.
To progress in your meditation, you need to begin with a clear mind first and expand from there. This is progression in meditation or developing your mind. The first part of meditation is clearing the mind then the mind is ready to progress and expand further.
As a beginner to meditation, chanting meditation is ideal. Through chanting, you are learning to bring your attention and focus during meditation. But after a while it does not help you in your progression or in the development of your mind. It helps you to override your thoughts at the beginning so you can carry on your meditation, but it does not help you to expand your mind.
Anxiousness is a sign to let us know that your thinking is in an override state. This is to let us know that the body is way behind your thinking and that it cannot catch up with the speed of the thinking mind. The mind and body have to work together and be in sync with each other to have a healthy life. Your mind wants to do many things, but your body is not in a position to do it and hence causes this anxious state. Your thinking has to slow down so it can catch up with the body. There are many methods to slow down your busy mind which will be extremely useful.
What is it that you spoke with others made you feel this way?
Let’s start with that truth!
Is it their emotions? Or your attachment to them? Or your attachment to work?
You will see the truth when you slowly observe your conversations with others.
If someone is pouring out their emotions and negative energies on to you, then you can stand back recognise those truths and let it pass, as you are helping to see others see themselves through your mirror. This is an advanced skill to have.
If you are taking all emotions and negative energy from others on to yourself and suffer because of it, it might be that you are protective of that person and have let it transfer it to you. It’s a bit similar to, if your loved ones get hurt, you in turn get hurt – may be attachment?
If you are attached to your work and you see that this is happening to yourself ( identified as work ) then people are hurting your work and then it hurts you in turn.
Now let us review a situation where in if you noticed someone else’s room being untidy, you might just judge them as an untidy person and may not want to be like them. I would guess that’s where the thought generally ends.
The thought ends there because you are not emotionally connected with the stranger.
It’s just a thought or a judgement and you move on.
Since you are emotionally connected with your child, you want your child to be in a tidy room and that tidiness to reflect their mental and physical state is understandable. If your child is in a nice room you in turn are in a nice place as well. So it works for both of you.
But being emotionally attached to someone is almost like possessing them. You take a ownership of that person without their consent. You emotionally control them and they control you. It takes on a controller and controlled relationship. You keep switching places. You both are tied in an emotional knot. This is quite a deep relationship.
By observing your actions and conversations leading up to your arguments and seeing if this attachment is binding you is the first understanding of the problem. By finding a way to talk to your child in an unattached way to resolve the real and simple situations would be the next step.
By taking these simple preliminary steps to observe your relationship with your child will eventually resolve many issues.
Each night observe your emotions towards the situation. Observe how your attachment to your child plays a heavy part in your life.
Pay attention to see how you give up your SELF for your child, in a way that you no longer exist within you. This state of being yourself seems to resume when your child is not around. Hence your longing to be YOU creates an emotional situation.
Generally attachments give rise to emotional states. By watching your self during your time around your child and by recognising that you also need to exist along with your child and not only in their absence is crucial.
Observe your actions during the bed time and change the plan of your actions to break the pattern. These two things work hand in hand. Learn the difference between love and attachment. Love is freeness, whereas attachment is emotional.